I wanted to share a few hacks on how you can start to transform your mind-set into being more positive, and learn to love yourself, and your life.
Our minds are our biggest tool and our greatest weakness and without even knowing it you could be using your mind to destroy your own happiness and feelings of self-worth.
The processes I will talk about are all designed to shift your thinking mind from negative thoughts to positive ones. I have complete belief that these methods work, but the key ingredient is dedication. Without this you will not be consistent and without consistency you will not be able to change your mind-set. All I mean by consistency is that you must keep coming back to these habits time and time again. Even if life gets in the way one day, one week, one month, just remember that you are only human and that’s ok and then keep coming back.
The most important thing to note is that you must always speak to yourself kindly and be forgiving toward yourself. So, if you start trying to implement these habits and start to stray away from them or find it difficult, do not beat yourself up.
“Your mind is a computer and you program it with your thoughts.”
I don’t want this list to be exhausting because I want you to read it! And although I could go on forever, I have decided to stick to five habits and tried to stick to three main points for each one.
Happy reading :)
Start a gratitude journal
- Write down three things each day you feel grateful for maybe first thing in the morning or before you go to sleep (keep your journal next to your bed).
- If you feel an area of your life is lacking focus on that. For example, if you struggle with feeling good enough make one of them something about yourself. “I am grateful for my strong mind,” “I am grateful for my ability to see the good in people,” “I am grateful for my healthy hair,” or “I am grateful for my loving nature towards my loved ones.”
- Do not rush through this process. Upon writing it down, take a few minutes to think about and reflect on that which you have written.
Make your first thought when you wake up a positive one
- Firstly, become aware of the first thought you have in the morning - is it a negative one such as “I don’t want to get out of bed, I hate my job.”
- Be aware that the first thought you have in the morning will set the tone for the rest of your day. Your feelings and emotions are a product of your thoughts, so if you don’t feel good about getting out of bed in the morning that’s because you’ve been talking to yourself negatively for too long. (Just a side note, nobody feels amazing about getting out of bed when they are in a deep sleep and there alarm goes off, it’s cold and dark outside and warm and cosy in bed - this is normal but you have to push past this feeling).
- Think about all the things you are lucky enough to do that day. Try starting with the phrase “Today I get to….:” earn money, see my Grandchildren, eat some delicious food etc.
Become aware of the voice in your head
- Firstly, recognise that this voice is not you - you are more than your thoughts, but your thoughts do shape who you think you are. Get into the habit of witnessing your thoughts as a separate entity (visualise them as clouds passing in front of you in the sky - the come and they go, and they do not alter your current state).
- Change how your inner voice it talks to you and about other people - do you berate yourself or build yourself up? Remember if you speak negatively about other people all the time you can’t expect to feel good about yourself. What you react to others you strengthen in yourself!
- Think of a few positive thoughts you want to tell yourself (perhaps something you are grateful for or something you love about yourself), and whenever you become aware of a negative thought or process of thoughts, transcend this with your positive affirmation.
Accept that which you can't control
- If something annoys you, or makes you feel wrongly treated, but you cannot control it, let it go - this means not talking about it, thinking about it, or trying to resist it. Accept the feeling it gives you. Recognise it but do not suppress or fight it - eventually it will subside.
- Holding onto negative feelings is toxic and will manifest in your body as physical illness.
- Remember: “Whatever you fight, you strengthen, and whatever you resist, persists.”
Stop the belief that material things, increased status, or changing your appearance will make you happy or feel complete
- Although you may feel a sense of euphoria or achievement initially, a bigger house, nicer car, new outfit, promotion, perfect body etc will never make you happier or your life more complete. You will just move onto wanting the next thing.
- It all comes back down to my first point: Gratitude. Essentially this means focusing on what you already have as opposed to what you are lacking. Focusing on what you don’t have will continue to make you unhappy and unfulfilled.
- This doesn’t mean you can’t desire nice things or set yourself goals, but just know that if you cannot be happy in this moment, you never will be. Become friends with the present moment!
I challenge you to try and implement at least one of the above techniques and see how it makes you feel :)
Remember: consistency is the magic ingredient!